A Change in Perspective

While listening to a smattering of prayers and pastoral-led readings at church a couple weeks ago, I noticed the frequency of a certain type of word:

• kingdom
• power
• throne
• rule
• conquered
• triumphant
• reigning
• sovereign king
• exalted
• ordered
• authority

I couldn't help but be struck by the implication of these words.  There's something telling about Christianity that we reference spiritual things in these ways.  Christianity and Christian texts approach spirituality from the perspective of those with a ruler mentality, and the language we use reflects that mindset.  We view Christ as a King, a ruler, one who has conquered things, and that commands our respect and admiration.  We promote our relationship with God as a path to becoming conquerors ourselves, triumphant and exalted.

Not that there is no basis for these terms biblically; there are plenty of verses which, at least in the English translations, use these exact words.  They aren't 'unbiblical' terms, but I wonder if our focus on them is.  God is described in so many ways beyond these, yet our Christian songs and sermons so often zero in on the concepts of victory, power, and authority almost as though they are the point of our faith.  The Bible is explicit that love of others is always the point.

The kingdom mindset isn't as prevalent in some other religions and spiritual perspectives.  Earlier this year as my children and I studied Native American culture and philosophy, we came across what's known by certain Native American tribes as "The Words Spoken Before All Others" - an address which is routinely given to open and close all important gatherings.  It's a lengthy statement of gratitude to the various natural and spiritual elements, put into place by the Creator, which are at work throughout creation.  In expressing gratitude for these life-giving elements, and connecting themselves to the spiritual, the tribes repeatedly use the following words:

• balance
• harmony
• together as one
• support
• care
• provide
• sustain
• teach
• refresh
• guide
• one mind

The focus here is a stark contrast to the conqueror mentality.  It views the Creator not as One ruling over, reigning triumphantly, or vanquishing enemies, but as what is named: the Creator.  One who provides for, sustains, and unifies those in the Creator's care.  There is no victory or battle, but harmony and support.  There is no ruler mindset here.  At least not the kind we're used to.

To be fair, an appreciation of the power and ultimate authority of divinity isn't absent in other global spiritual disciplines.  There is a natural understanding in most faiths that God has power and authority.  Even in "The Words Spoken Before All Others", power and strength are referenced occasionally, as they are undeniable in the created world: "Water is life.  We know its power in many forms."  But power and strength are not the point.  The point, in spite of the Creator's obvious authority and power, is gratitude for, and unity with, the rest of creation.

"Today we have gathered.  We have been given the duty to live in balance and harmony with each other and all living things.  So now we bring our minds together as one as we give greetings and thanks to each other as people.  Now our minds are one.  [...] we turn our thoughts to the Creator and send greetings and thanks for all the gifts of creation.  Everything we need to live a good life is here on earth.  For all the love around us, we gather our minds together as one and send our best words of greetings and thanks to the Creator.  Now our minds are one." - The Ohenten Kariwatekwen (Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Address or Words Spoken Before All Others)

Of course there are Christian texts which focus on the same.  A quick internet search of "one mind bible verses" will show that the concept above is found throughout our own spiritual text, for example in Philippians 2:

"... make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind." -Philippians 2:2

Yet I wonder if it would serve us as Christians to more intentionally set aside the language and mindset of rulership; I wonder if we ought to put purposeful effort into viewing God less as conqueror and more as Creator.  We model ourselves after the God we worship - should our aim be to become victorious or to become caretakers of the hearts and lives around us?  I believe we know the answer, but it's perhaps not an easy one in the Christian spiritual culture which has been built up over centuries.  It may be far past time to learn a few spiritual lessons from those who view God another way.

Unfortunately, that pervasive conqueror mindset has already relegated many of them to the past.

To All The Mothers ...

Motherhood takes many forms.  From creatures in the animal kingdom adopting orphaned babies outside of their species to step-mothers, grandmothers, families with two mothers, and mentors who serve as mothers, there are myriad paths to motherhood.  And yet the significance of the task remains the same - mother figures play a pivotal role in the shaping of our childhoods and lives.

image credit: Sukree Sukplang/ Reuters.com

Whether with your mother figures today in body or only in spirit, hopefully this is a day of knowing, because of their influence, that you are loved and known and cared for.  And in turn, that it inspires you to become that influence in the life of another.  It takes a village, as they say, and so much of the way we end up viewing the world is because of the relationships we have with those who have come before us.

Mothers have lived life, have seen and experienced so much more than we often know, and have stored up insights and perspectives we need.  God often cites the importance of keeping note of the things we've learned through experience for the specific purpose of passing it on to the children in our care:

"Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them." - Deuteronomy 4

"...these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." - Deuteronomy 6

"Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. ... his mother treasured all these things in her heart." - Luke 15  

Proverbs 31 is known for its description of an admirable woman - strong and hardworking and wise and compassionate.  But did you know that Psalm 31 begins with a recollection of words of wisdom offered to King Lemuel by his mother?  It's described as "an inspired utterance his mother taught him":

"Listen my son! ... Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!  Do not spend your strength on women ... It is not for kings, Lemuel - It is not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights. ... Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.  Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy."

What an utterance!  I picture Lemuel's memory of these words, piecing them together from casual conversations held throughout his childhood where his mother voiced nuggets of advice sprinkled into the daily mundane moments of parenting.  Children remember those passing comments, the repeated refrains and mantras we pepper into our time with them almost without realizing it.  They take in the character of who we are, and find it in the recesses of their mind giving them guidance when they're grown and ruling over a nation.

The work of passing on hard earned insight doesn't fall only to mothers, but to any who find themselves in a parental role of influence.  To all those in a position to nurture, advise, care for, and raise a child, thank you, and happy Mother's Day. ❤️

San Sebastian

I've sat on this post for a week, intentionally.  Memories of spiritual trauma sometimes need time to marinate before being formed into words and sent out into the world, and even though the ones sparked by this post are minor in the grand scheme, they take a particular mindset to delve into at times.

Here's the thing - churches are flawed places.  Filled with flawed people.  As many have experienced, organized religion often becomes, in the hands of flawed people, an institution focused on exercising unfounded control and judgement on others' lives.  A place where we're told it's acceptable, and even desirable, to make definitive statements of spiritual judgement on the life of another; where we hear it's our role to evaluate the spiritual validity of another's thoughts and actions, and determine on their behalf the quality of their personal relationship with God.  Sometimes this happens out of a sense of misguided love, sometimes it's more purposefully manipulative, but regardless of the motivation, the result is usually the same.

The pain and trauma of having those around you speak negatively into your life with an authority claimed to be of God is uniquely difficult.  I think perhaps it's one of the gravest emotional wrongs we can cause one another - speaking for God in judgement of someone else.  God's not asking that of us, and the arrogance and audacity it takes to do so is a topic to be saved for another day.

For now, a walk down memory lane takes me to a boardwalk in San Sebastian, Spain, where I was traveling by myself after a long and frustrating few years in my church community.  At some point in most of our lives, we face uncertainty about whether we're on the right track in our lives and relationships, and after a lifetime of confidence in my faith and a God I knew well, doubts were beginning to creep in.  Years of hearing that the way I related to God was wrong, the places and ways I chose to do ministry weren't meaningful, the people I loved weren't worthy, my personality itself was sinful ... those things wear on even the most steadfast of people.  Maybe those constantly confronting me were right.  Maybe I was displeasing God.  I found myself broken, and questioning, and mulling over all these things in prayer as my music played on shuffle to the rhythm of the crashing waves in front of me.  And suddenly my music became my prayer:

"I haven't slept at all in days / It's been so long since we've talked / And I have been here many times / I just don't know what I'm doing wrong"

"What can I do to make you love me? / What can I do to make you care?"

As my prayers and doubts channeled themselves through its lyrics, this song walked me through letting go of the requirements others were putting on my relationship with God.  At a time when the "Christians" in my life were filled with judgement, gossip, slander, and expectations, it was easy to forget that none of those things describe God's heart or desires for me.  How often do we let God become defined by those who claim to represent spiritual things?  We find ourselves jumping through hoops or fearing conversational minefields, eventually believing this is what God wants from us.

But that mindset is unsustainable.  Whether out of exhaustion, or frustration, or hopelessness, we realize the hoops are unreachable, and any conversation can be exploited in a minefield.  It's a system designed for failure.

"There's only so much I can take / and I just gotta let it go / And who knows, I might feel better / if I don't try and I don't hope"

The Corrs brought my perspective into alignment in the bridge, which I'll share again here: 

"No more waiting, no more aching / No more fighting, no more trying ..."

"Maybe there's nothing more to say / And in a funny way I'm calm / Because the power is not mine / I'm just gonna let it fly"

There's a sense of relief that comes in letting go of pressure to do or say the "right" things to be acceptable to God.  A freedom in knowing our lives and faith aren't things to be curated or controlled for the purpose of gaining approval.  Freedom in Christ - isn't that what we claim it's all about?  The power rests with God alone, and isn't our burden to carry.

Every person's relationship with God is unique.  In my life, God chooses to speak to me through lyrics and nature.  If the beginning of this song was my prayer to God, the end of it was God speaking back.  After three and a half minutes of asking what I could do, what I could say, what I could change about myself to gain God's favor, the response was as simple as this:

"Love me."

Over and over, those lyrics resounding again, and again, and then fading into infinity.  That's what it boils down to.  No more.  No less.  It's worth another listen:

This was the beginning of the end of my allowing others to speak for God in our relationship, and although there was excessively more pain to come, as spiritual manipulation doesn't tend to roll over quietly, I left San Sebastian changed.  God had spoken with crystal clarity.

"...[W]hich is the greatest commandment ...?  ... Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment." - Matthew 22:36-38

That's it.  That's the requirement God has given.  In the times when the church stands in your way, and those around you begin to add to the message of grace, forgiveness, and love with requirements for your faith, remember the words of God alone.  God doesn't need you to jump through hoops or fit a certain ministry mold.  Let no one add to the message of God or distort the grace of Christ with their own demands.  (Proverbs 30:5-6, Galatians 1:6-9)