Let's Talk About Friendship ...

Today my best friend hit a milestone birthday, and it's afforded me the opportunity to reflect on our friendship.

"Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had

I've been with you such a long time"

"Ooh, you make me live

Ooh, you're my best friend"

Friendship is something that can't be over-valued in human life.  We're used to saying that the only things people really need are food, shelter, water.  But we all know it's not that simple.  Connection with another person isn't just a want, it's a human need.  Without it, prisoners in solitary confinement lose their minds.  Children become despondent and suicidal.  Life starts feeling bleak.  Whether we like it or not, we've been designed to need friendship.

A few days ago my Bible study group was talking about a particular phrase found in Philippians 1:27 and 2:2:

"... I will hear about you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind ..."

"... make my joy complete by being of the same mind ..." 

As we discussed the idea of being of 'one mind' with someone else, my thoughts immediately went to my best friend.  Our friendship wouldn't work for some people - although as children we spent every possible waking moment together, as adults we actually don't see each other often.  We don't talk daily, or weekly, or sometimes even monthly, and we don't have any regular activities we do together.  But maybe as a result of all that time spent together in our formative years, or maybe as a function of our personalities, she is the one person I know will always understand me completely.  When one of my closest loved ones had cancer last year, in my hardest moments, texting her about it was my refuge, because she knows what I'm thinking and feeling without explanation.  When she vents to me about current events or personal challenges, I get it.  In spite of different, and sometimes opposite, personalities, in spite of varying interests and experiences and beliefs, we are, inexplicably and incredibly, of one mind.

"Oh, you're the first one when things turn out bad

You know I'll never be lonely"

A trustworthy friendship where you feel known and seen and understood provides a meaningful sense of security in life.  It's where we're loved enough that we feel safe to heal, be challenged, and process the events of our lives.  We feel stronger; empowered for the hard stuff, and sure that when we fail it's ok.  That rare friendship where we're of one mind feels like home - a place where we're accepted completely, able to be ourselves, without explanation or justification.  Where we're reminded that the world isn't awful, and that life can be funny, and that things will be ok.

"Whenever this world is cruel to me

I got you to help me forgive"

"In rain or shine you've stood by me"

"I'm happy, happy at home

You're my best friend"

My best friend doesn't share my beliefs about God.  She loves me in spite of my faith.  Knowing my mind and heart like few others, she sticks with me when I've been wrong, when I've had other friends she didn't like or understand (often justifiably so) - even when my character flaws impact her.  I hope she's felt those things reciprocated.  I personally believe friendship like that is about as close to God's heart as it gets - unconditional, vulnerable, and constant.  As Queen proclaims in the song above, it makes us live.

"...a sweet friendship refreshes the soul." -Proverbs 27:9 (MSG)